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SharonPoffinberger.com

I felt it was time to retire Frootbat31.net and move on to SharonPoffinberger.com, to make it more official now that I have books published, and getting out there to the public. The anonymity felt like a comfy blanket to hide beneath, but it is time to embrace challenges.

I’m still fixing the web site domain to point at the correct site, and re-furbishing the site for updates and better navigation. It’ll be done soon.

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Thoughts on the new year

Since being a mother, I don’t do much of anything on New Year’s Eve. Okay, I’ll be honest here; I never really got into the celebrations. I’m not much of a drinker, and when I go to parties I get this sense that other people drinking are having way more fun than I am, or they’re getting something out of the drinks than feeling relaxed and wanting to sleep.

I will, however, reflect upon the passing year. 2013 offered a fair share of disappointment but a few successes as well.

I plunged right into working towards goals, only to find the first month or two offered NOTHING in the way of results. This provoked severe depression for a while, and I continued depression therapy. I worked through the sense of failing and so forth, until I no longer visit my therapist. In the end, I will take that as a big success.

I published the writers’ meetup anthology. It took longer than expected, but I gained so much knowledge through the process.  We’ll be doing an anthology each year, showing off our writing. I might include first chapters of new releases of member’s novels as well.

We got the house fixed up. That was a big deal. Our porch was literally falling apart, and now its lovely.  

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Our friend, Arthur was key in getting this done, with estimates, and helping with keeping costs down, and getting things finished. It looks great.

My Resolutions from last January didn’t go so well, but this year, I promised myself to evaluate the reasons why and fix them. And yes, goals were not met, but I came to realize that many weren’t goals I wanted to complete after all.

I hope 2014 will be a better year, more substantial in results and things coming back from the efforts put ‘out there’.

Oh woe is meh

Oddly enough, I’ve been bored lately. Which is weird because normally I don’t get bored. I always have something to do. As much as I tell my son that ‘only boring people are boring’, its also connected with not having the motivation to do things. Worse still, when you lack the want to do something you normally enjoy doing. Writing, photography, crafting, etc just don’t interest me.

I blame my stupid sleeping…or lack thereof. I wake up feeling as the same as I did when I went to bed. This has been going on for weeks now. I keep hoping I will just waken one morning feeling refreshed, but so far, I wake up feeling grouchy and irritable.

Yes, I try to go to bed earlier. Yes, I’m careful as to what I eat or drink before bed. Yes, I do the things they always suggest for insomnia. It doesn’t help. Even the Melatonin hasn’t helped.

Guess it’s a phase…

On other news, work is finishing up on the house. It’s a relief to see such a nice porch, windows replace (and painted), and a decent sidewalk along the house where I don’t worry about stumbling. The house needs even more work, but I feel its bearable now.

Today, I’m working on a computer. My son’s friend was having issues with connecting to the Internet, and I realize as I near completion (and its connecting now), that its more often than you think that when folks realize you know computers and technical stuff, they want help (for free). They don’t realize how frustrating this kind of work is for me, that I have to troubleshoot, and find my hands aching from typing, my eyes straining from trying to read small type, and feeling cramped from sitting so long. I’ll be lucky to get a thank you.

And yes, I’ve told this kid that this is the last time I’m doing computer repair for him (unless I get paid).

If you ask someone to do something for them, for free, by all that is right in the world, be GRATEFUL at the very least. I’m not sure if I’ll get a thank you from this kid. He didn’t last time.

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From Chaos Comes Order, or at least I hope so

We’re finally getting some much needed work done on the house. Our porch was so rotted, the railing was literally hanging off. So this needed to be pulled off- which its still in the first stage of repair, or rather being torn apart.

 We’re also having the front steps replaced, including a handrail. As you can see here, folks aren’t coming up to visit. Even the mailman can’t get the mail to the house. I’m not sure how this will work out- I guess we can go to the post office…?

I don’t like where we live. The houses are too close together, and this building is falling apart. The rooms are too small. Closet space is practically non-existent. I don’t think there’s a single room that doesn’t need major TLC to make it better, and even with that, the entire house doesn’t get much in the way of direct sunlight. Its like living in a cave. I hate it.

Eventually, I’d like to move to another house more in the country with more space. Certainly more light! With the neighbors further away. I agree ‘fences make good neighbors’.

So in the meantime, I clench my teeth/fists and force myself to be patient, waiting for the repairs to be done, hoping I will like the house. I’m not sure if I ever will, but it will look better.

Allergies or cold?

I continue with symptoms that could be either allergies or a cold, but as this is day four, and the symptoms changed from sore-ish throat to now sinuses, I’m not sure if its allergies after all.

Today, I took a dose of Nyquil and slept the afternoon away. I felt better after. This seems to be to indicate it’s a cold. Allergies wouldn’t get better after rest, right?

I have no energy, and couldn’t muster enough to cast circle for Beltane. We opted to enjoy a potluck and chat instead. The writer’s meetup went ok, but a bit long That’s when I really started to feel bad. I kept thinking “Allergies shouldn’t get worse like this”. And by nightfall, I took Nyquil to pass out to sleep- otherwise I doubt I could breath much through my nose.

Whatever goals I hoped for this week went kaput, and I can only hope the symptoms end sooner rather than later. I have stuff to do! I got no time for that (a cold)!!

Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.

The size of our food

Now that I’m mindful of my eating, the amount, and the calories included, its been very eye opening to the amount of noms one eats when they’re not even aware.

I’m still following a diet that allows me to eat what I want, but you learn very quickly that you can’t get away with too much junk and sweets without it seriously cutting into your healthy stuff.

I’ve lost about 5 lbs but I think some of that was water weight. I feel lighter, and I’m hoping to continue seeing something in the way of results in the coming weeks.

How does your garden (goals) grow?

As I’ve mentioned in past posts in regards to the pagan gardener, many of us have spiritual gardens in which we plant seeds of intention for goals we hope to see blossom by the autumn (if not before).

As with any gardens, both real and spiritual, here are some tips;

Weed periodically. The plants (goals) you wish to grow require room and space, and if its scattered with weeds (blocks, setbacks, etc), you need to remove them. Sometimes these weeds can take the form of people who hold us back, situations that doesn’t allow you thrive, or even the deep seated fears and low self-esteem of our personalities. Seek to weed these out, if you can.

Clear out the dead plants. Sometimes our plants (goals) do not come to fruition for any number of reasons. Recognize when you need to remove them to make room for healthier, stronger plants (goals). Don’t waste your time and energy watering and tending to plants (goals) that are dead and won’t flower. Sometimes you need to accept its not the right time, and you can try again later.

Water and fertilize. Plants (goals) could grow on their own, but tending your garden by giving whatever attention your plants (goals) need to thrive, will help make a successful garden. Time, care, focus, action, and effort are all requires to make a healthy garden.

Seek help if you need it. There’s no shame in asking for help if your garden (goals) isn’t thriving. Seek others will experience to see how they found success, what techniques worked for them, and what didn’t work as well.

Assess at harvest time. When you finally do see the fruits of your labor, take note what worked best for you. Even failures provide valuable insight on what won’t work in the future.

What seeds/goals have you planted for this season? Is there a set time you expect to see the harvest of your labor?

BOS Assignment: By now you should have some idea on goals, and what you’ve planted for this year. Take stock, and check for growth. Note if you need to make changes or adjustments to reach your goals.