When I went in for Major Depression, I told her that I didn’t want drugs, and I didn’t expect her to ‘fix me’, but that I was looking for coping strategies. I’ve had depression for years, so bad, in fact, I nearly killed myself in my early 20’s. It was just awful; wavering between apathy and severe despair, I realized that I didn’t want to die as much wanting to end this terrible pain I felt.
Then I had this realization- death is permanent, with no ‘take-backs’. There’s no ‘do-overs’, no resets. Death is final. It is a very permenant solution to a temporary problem.
By living, I get to try a number of things to fix it. I manage to crawl up out of the despair, but depression kept dragging me down. I finally decided to find the coping strategies I needed to deal with it.
I manage to crawl up out of the despair, but depression kept dragging me down. I finally decided to find the coping strategies I needed to deal with it.
I also recognize that depression, like many emotions, is part of being human, part of the human condition. We get angry, happy, sad, and yes, depressed from time to time, and that can be normal. It’s when depresson screws up day to day living, when it continues for a prolonged length of time, you need to get help.
I had to discover causes of my misery, and to find methods of coping rather than wallowing and whining. It’s not a constant state of being- or it shouldn’t be constant. My way of thinking was toxic, and I needed to learn how to ‘think happy’.
Change is not easy. It takes time, but its worth it in the end. I’m still a work in progress, but I think I’m ready to stop the therapy sessions. It’s nice to know they are there if I need them, but I doubt I’ll need them.
They should, in my humble opinion, give me a certificate or lollipop. Heck, I should get something for achieving this, right? I might treat myself to an ice cream sundae later this week, but for now, I’ll settle on the knowledge that I’m better, I’m improved on my way of coping.